Take Control of Your Relationship: Don’t Let Your Past Dictate Your Future

by

Rich Nicastro, Ph.D.

Why I created Take Control of Your Relationship:

We all repeat patterns from our past, and in order to create a successful marriage or relationship, we must become aware of the patterns that stand in our way.

How this is relevant to your marriage/relationship

These past relationship-patterns become so automatic that they can take on a life of their own, playing out over and over and impacting your marriage/relationship.  Unfortunately, when the influence of our past is negative, it can hold us back from our full potential.

It is only when we become fully aware of our own unique vulnerabilities, our own specific relationship-patterns, that we are able to open ourselves and our relationship up to greater possibilities.

As a psychologist and couples counselor, I’ve worked with hundreds of individuals and couples trying to make their relationship everything it can be, and I’ve seen how past experiences can negatively impact present-day relationships. 

Here’s a partial list of how your past can still affect you. Your past can prevent you from:

● Fully engaging with your partner
● Experiencing the deepest possible intimacy
● Feeling comfortable with yourself
● Allowing yourself to feel vulnerable with your partner
● Feeling like you can trust your partner
● Experiencing healthy feelings about commitment
● Understanding your reactions to your partner’s behavior
● Experiencing feelings of self-worth and belonging
● Believing that you really matter in the relationship
● Feeling like you can share what’s really important to you
● Believing that your needs will be met

Although you can’t change the past, you can change how it influences you and your marriage/relationship. Don’t worry: this doesn’t mean you have to re-examine or re-live every painful experience from your childhood.

It’s a matter of understanding the origins of your relationship patterns and then applying this knowledge to your day-to-day life with your partner.

This is the path to a fully conscious relationship.

Here’s some information about my Don’t Let Your Past Dictate Your Future e-workbook to help you decide if it’s right for you:

1. I share an easy-to-understand perspective about why your past is important to your marriage/relationship and the ways these past influences might be holding you back from building a more rewarding and meaningful relationship.

2. You’ll be introduced to the idea of “scripts”—a simple concept that gives you a clear and easy-to-use method to work on and overcome the issues that can hold you back.

3. You’ll learn how to assess and change your relationship-scripts, the powerful messages you’ve learned and internalized over the years that continue to impact your marriage/relationship.

4.  We’ll explore the importance of setting relationship goals and you’ll learn a five step plan to help you (and your spouse/partner) incorporate and solidify the changes you’ve made into your daily lives.

5.  You’ll have access to dozens of questions and exercises to help deepen your learning. The exercises in my workbook are the ones I use in my marriage therapy and couples counseling practice. These exercises are designed to help you integrate the information into your marriage/relationship in a meaningful way.

6. You’ll hear examples of people just like you — couples who are working to build a stronger, more rewarding marriage/relationship.  For any book to be helpful, it must be relevant to your unique relationship struggles and the information needs to apply to the issues that are most important to you.

7.  There is a separate chapter on how to deepen intimacy and assess whether your learned “intimacy-scripts” are holding you back. A deep emotional connection is the cornerstone to a fulfilling union, and you’ll explore this important issue in-depth.

8.  Conflict is an inevitable part of any close relationship and you’ll explore how your “conflict-scripts” learned in childhood still impact you today.  You probably learned how to handle conflict differently than your partner, and understanding these differences can lead to greater understanding and harmony.

9.  Both your and your partner’s feelings and emotions should take center stage in your relationship, but this isn’t always easy. You’ll assess what you’ve learned about your own feelings and how to make emotions a healthy part of your marriage/relationship.

10. The information I share is the result of my fifteen-plus years experience working as a psychologist, marriage therapist and couples counselor.  You can be confident about the value of the practical information in this workbook, knowing it comes from my professional training, extensive experience, and up-to-date knowledge of the research on marriage and relationships.

(The above is a partial list of the information in this workbook.)

Own your copy of Take Control of Your Relationship: Don’t Let Your Past Dictate Your Future e-workbook

Cost: $16.95

(My 65-page e-workbook is in PDF format and available for immediate download.)

Special Offer: Save 25% off Don’t Let Your Past Dictate Your Future when you purchase this workbook as part of the Marriage Enrichment Package.

I look forward to the privilege of helping you make your marriage or relationship everything it can be.

With gratitude,

Rich Nicastro, Ph.D.
Psychologist & Relationship Coach