Affair-Recovery Transitions to Healing

Affair recovery healing

Change in a relationship is inevitable after an affair. There is the immediate crisis that follows the discovery or revelation, and that typically includes shock, disbelief, and emotional upheaval. Whether the discovery of the unfaithfulness comes after a period of suspicion that something was amiss, or whether it seems to come from out of the Read More

A Husband’s Confession: The Emotional Affair Signs I Overlooked

emotional affair signs

In today’s blog post, a husband married for fifteen years discusses the dynamics of his emotional affair. It can be helpful to hear directly from someone who was emotionally unfaithful when you’re looking to affair-proof your own relationship. At the end of each of his comments, I share some thoughts [in brackets] to help give Read More

Understanding Infidelity: 3 Reasons Affairs Happen

There are different ways to understand infidelity and the conditions that lead someone to become affair-prone. In trying to make sense of why people cheat, you can use this information to strengthen your relationship or marriage, rather than assume you’re immune to the slippery slope of infidelity. The attitude “this can never happen to me” Read More

Relationship Help: Lessons Learned From An Affair

We can all learn from couples who have faced the betrayal of infidelity. To think that you or your partner (or your relationship) are immune to the toxins that can lead to an affair is shortsighted—too many loving and initially committed couples have fallen prey to infidelity. So rather than thumb your nose at those Read More

Sex After an Affair: Re-establishing Physical Intimacy

sex after an affair

“I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever be able to sleep with him again. It’s just too painful.”  ~Cheryl (eight months after her husband’s affair) “When we have sex now it’s like I’m not even there…I go through the motions, but emotionally I’m somewhere else.” ~Leonard (one-and-a-half years after his wife’s affair) Re-establishing meaningful physical Read More

Affair Recovery: Sex After an Affair

sex after an affair

The emotional fallout from an affair is extensive, and the healing process can be a long and bumpy road. Couples committed to this healing journey should be mindful of what’s ahead for them as they try to rebuild their relationship. One of the most sensitive and painfully triggering issues for post-affair couples occurs when they Read More

Relationship Help: Understanding the Healing Process after a Marital Crisis

Todd is frustrated with his wife Erin’s “doom and gloom” attitude about their marital future and with the emotional distance he feels she’s created between them. He says, “I recently messed up big time. I’ve acknowledged that and I’m really trying to make things better, but nothing seems to work. She’s gotta cut me some Read More

Affair-Proofing Your Marriage (Part III—When an Affair Is Emotional)

Welcome to the third part of the affair-proofing your marriage series. Whenever you hear about someone having an affair or cheating (whether it’s someone you know personally, a politician or a celebrity), the affair is almost always sexual in nature—it wouldn’t be front-page news if Tiger Woods or Arnold Schwarzenegger were caught “having feelings” for Read More

Affair-Proofing Your Marriage (Part II—Why Men Cheat)

Welcome to the second post in the How to Affair-proof Your Marriage series. The first post on marital infidelity highlighted the five danger zones that can make a marriage/relationship vulnerable to an affair. The indiscretions of high-profile figures (David Letterman, John Edwards, and most recently, Arnold Schwarzenegger) raise awareness of the vulnerability that all couples Read More

Relationship Help: The Allure of an Emotional Affair

  As a marriage and couples counselor, I often witness the devastating fall out of infidelity—an affair rips apart our core assumptions about trust, love and the person we thought we knew better than anyone else. Frequently, an affair follows a particular pattern that Getting your basic emotional needs met (for validation, acceptance, praise, understanding, Read More

Online Affairs: Why You Are Vulnerable to Having an Online Affair

Online Affair

Without a doubt, the Internet has changed our world: it has put information at our fingertips, increased the speed and efficiency with which we work, and broadened our connections at large. But in any list of benefits, there are typically costs. Online emotional affairs are on the rise, even though the people accused of this Read More

Affair Recovery: A Message to All Men Who Have Cheated

affair recovery for men in austin tx

(In this article I focus on men who have been unfaithful [because statics show that men are more likely to stray than women]. However, the points made are also relevant to women who have had an affair). The Fallout from an Affair Let’s start with the obvious: An affair is devastating and some couples never Read More