How to Make a Relationship Work: A Couple Shares 5 Tips

No one enters a marriage or long-term relationship expecting it to fail. And yet, the statistics are sobering: around half of all marriages end in divorce. So what distinguishes the relationships that last from the ones that don’t? “Tell us how to make a relationship work!” Overwhelmingly, the couples who come to see me at Read More

How to Communicate with Your Husband: A Wife’s Story

Have you ever thought about what it means to have an emotional attachment to your partner? When your marriage or relationship is strong, you enjoy the benefits of emotional connection without ever needing to define it or put it under a microscope. But when emotional intimacy is lacking, you need to find the words for Read More

Putting the Commitment Back into Your Committed Relationship

“Commitment” is one of those staple words in relationship lingo, right up there with “love” and “compatibility.” But have you ever given much thought to the question, “What is commitment?” And do you know why committing to your partner and the relationship is such a big deal? Once, commitment was easy… If you’re in a Read More

5 Ways to Jumpstart Your Relationship in the New Year

Well, another New Year is nearly upon us, and it’s that time when we think about fresh starts and resolutions. There’s nothing wrong with the concept of resolutions if that works for you; I prefer to talk about positive change in terms of jumpstarts, though. Many couples I work with who are seeking the keys Read More

Communication in Marriage for Greater Intimacy

Communicating through words—through the sharing of your experiences, feelings and reactions—helps to create bridges that connect you and your partner/spouse. Effective communication doesn’t just involve words, however. It also centers around an emotional resonance where each person tunes into what the other is feeling (like turning the radio dial beyond the static until the music Read More

Reconnecting to Your Partner: How Your Relationship Can Heal You

All relationships vacillate between moments of connection and disconnection. It is through connection with our loved one that emotional healing can take place, that our old childhood wounds get reworked and closure is reached. In today’s post, relationship expert Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT, examines this important issue and identifies the specific elements of a healing Read More

Emotional Intimacy: Are You Standing in the Way?

Like actors on stage, we all play different roles in our lives. Some of these roles are more general (the competent, emotionally “in-control” male; the empathic, emotionally generous female), while others are specific to a particular circumstance or relationship (the take-charge, no-nonsense boss; the loving, attentive parent; the loyal, considerate best friend). Some of these Read More

Strengthen Your Relationship with a Stronger Commitment

A deep emotional connection and sense of relationship security can only grow in the soil of mutual commitment. Without commitment, you can never fully feel emotionally secure in your marriage/relationship. Yet for many couples, numerous expectations of commitment often exist that have not been articulated and only become apparent until something goes awry—until an expectation Read More

A Breakdown In Communication Or A Fear Of Intimacy?

Couples understand the need for and benefits of effective communication—in couples counseling they often describe their marital or relationship problems as resulting from a breakdown in communication of some kind. “We stopped communicating with each other,” or “We can’t talk without arguing” are a few of the mantras of spouses/partners in distress. And for many Read More

Emotional Intimacy: A Barometer of Relationship Fulfillment

What is the hallmark of a healthy, fulfilling marriage/relationship? Couples often cite effective communication strategies as central to a lasting relationship. And while healthy communication can go a long way in keeping your relationship humming along, there is another relationship variable that should be given just as much attention. Emotional Intimacy And Relationship Fulfillment Emotional Read More

Intimacy Builders: What Are Your Pathways to Deeper Intimacy?

How important is emotional intimacy to you and your partner? How can you deepen the emotional connection in your relationship and what gets in the way of this happening?    Whether we’re consciously aware of it or not, we are continuously regulating levels of closeness and distance in our relationship. Couples do this all the time Read More

Couples Communication: The Power of Emotional Presence

I witnessed a magical conversation the other day between two women friends that I believe is relevant for couples. Yes, you could say that I was eavesdropping, but when I see this kind of effective communication happening, I can’t help myself. The setting was a coffee shop. One of the women was upset about something Read More

Secure Relationship: The Role of Emotional Safety

When emotional security is lacking… “Over the last year we’ve had so many ugly fights that I just don’t trust him with my feelings any more.” ~Lucy, married six years “It feels to me like she sends me mixed signals…one moment everything is fine between us, then all of a sudden she’s angry about something Read More