Intimacy in Your Golden Years: Mindset Is Key

It’s an indisputable reality that our bodies change as we age, but when it comes to having a fulfilling intimate life in your marriage or relationship, you may be surprised to hear that your mindset is just as important as your physiology. The concept of “age-appropriate behavior” was originally used to track developmental progression in Read More

3 Tips for Dating After Divorce

The great novelist W. Somerset Maugham said, “There are 3 rules for writing the novel. The problem is, nobody knows what they are.” Don’t worry—this isn’t an article about writing. It really is about dating. But Maugham’s quote is relevant here because, as with anything as complex and unpredictable as dating, and, more specifically, dating Read More

Your Day-to-Day Relationship: Sharing Chores

Most of us complete chores without thinking deeply about why we’re doing them. And they don’t necessarily pull for overthinking—even the word chore has a connotation of just-push-through-it mindlessness. When you’re out of clean clothes, you fill the washing machine. You don’t get philosophical about potential underlying reasons why you’re filling the washing machine! And Read More

The Power of Empathic Listening and Setting Boundaries in Marriage

The ability to be moved by another’s pain is one of the distinguishing features of our humanity. When we feel for a person, we are emotionally impacted by their particular struggle or circumstance. When this occurs, we may be more likely to react compassionately in some way (for instance, giving a loved one who is Read More

Steering the Tides of Your Relationship

Today you have a choice. Actually, you have many choices. We all face decision points throughout our day—many of these decisions will be made automatically, with little reflection about why we’re choosing “A” over “B” or “C.” Marriages and relationships involve an abundance of choices. It’s overwhelming to have to reflect on the hundreds of Read More

Love and Affection in Your Relationship

SYR Podcast # 11 Session Notes  (Scroll down to end of notes for podcast audio) Love and affection go hand-in-hand. At least in theory they do. The reality is that many couples love each other yet despite their love, there is little-to-no affection in their relationship. It’s a curious phenomenon when we love someone (often Read More

The Lonely Marriage: The Pain of Feeling Alone in a Relationship

SYR Podcast # 10 Session Notes  (Scroll down to end of notes for podcast audio) “Tears do not burn except in solitude.” ~ Emil Cioran You probably aren’t a stranger to loneliness. We’ve all felt lonely at some point in our lives, especially after a painful breakup or when we wanted to feel close to Read More

How to Make a Relationship Work: A Couple Shares 5 Tips

No one enters a marriage or long-term relationship expecting it to fail. And yet, the statistics are sobering: around half of all marriages end in divorce. So what distinguishes the relationships that last from the ones that don’t? “Tell us how to make a relationship work!” Overwhelmingly, the couples who come to see me at Read More

Putting the Commitment Back into Your Committed Relationship

“Commitment” is one of those staple words in relationship lingo, right up there with “love” and “compatibility.” But have you ever given much thought to the question, “What is commitment?” And do you know why committing to your partner and the relationship is such a big deal? Once, commitment was easy… If you’re in a Read More

Remarriage Success: 5 Mistakes Couples Make When They Remarry

If you’ve been reading my blog or newsletters or catching my podcast, you’ve heard me talk about the challenges(and rewards) that long-term intimate relationships involve. Where I see couples get into trouble the most is when they steadfastly deny that their marriage will ever face challenges, and then become blind-sided down the road when challenges Read More

5 Ways to Jumpstart Your Relationship in the New Year

Well, another New Year is nearly upon us, and it’s that time when we think about fresh starts and resolutions. There’s nothing wrong with the concept of resolutions if that works for you; I prefer to talk about positive change in terms of jumpstarts, though. Many couples I work with who are seeking the keys Read More