My Husband Wants Me to Be Happy and Sometimes This Causes Problems

If you’re a woman in a committed relationship, I’d like you to think about how your husband/partner reacts to you when you’re vulnerable — do your vulnerabilities bring out the best in him? Or does he react with annoyance, frustration or even anger? One wife wanted to share what she learned about her husband after Read More

The Pitfalls of Seeking Happiness in Marriage

No one gets married to ramp up the suffering in their life. Quite the contrary, many of us marry (or enter into a committed, intimate relationship) in order to experience greater joy and happiness. The marital ideal equates happiness with marriage. “They’re so happy together”; “Look at the happy couple”; “Marriage suits you well” are Read More

Couple Help: Are Your Ideals Guiding You?

Life can be very challenging and extremely difficult at times. So can relationships and marriage. You may know about life’s difficulties firsthand—and you may also know that one’s marriage or relationship isn’t automatically immune to the twists and turns of life. You and your partner see each other at your worst and most stressed; you’re Read More

Healthy Couples Communication: The Power of Empathy

I’d like to share a communication strategy that I believe we all should be practicing in our marriages or relationships: It’s called anticipatory empathy. (The concept of anticipatory empathy comes from Relational-Cultural Theory—RCT.) Here is the definition of anticipatory empathy according to RCT: “Using one’s attunement and understanding of an individual to predict the possible Read More

Marriage Advice From A Grateful Wife

(The following is written by a wife discussing the relationship struggles and marriage problems she and her husband face on occasion. And the couple’s “solution” has nothing to do with some magical secret, but rather represents hard work and a commitment to one another. Thank you, Lynn, for your honesty and for keeping it real! Read More

Strengthen Your Relationship: Making Decisions for a Stronger Relationship

“Whatever you decide, don’t let it be because you don’t think you have a choice.” ~Hannah Harrington Today (and every day) you will come face-to-face with numerous decisions – decisions that will significantly impact how you react to your spouse/partner: Do I reach for his/her hand or share a hug (even if I’m not in Read More

Are Your Feelings Telling the Truth About Your Relationship?

Relationship Help Quick Tip Couples are continuously assessing the state of their marriage or relationship—even if we’re not fully aware that this is occurring. The specifics of how we do this varies from couple to couple, but relationship assessment usually centers around a pattern of feelings we have that either indicate our relationship is working Read More

Is Harmony Hurting Your Relationship?

Relationship harmony is a good thing, right?  Just hearing the word ‘harmony’ conjures up images of mutual peacefulness—a wonderful ebb and flow of meaningful couples communication that gives way to a balanced coexistence, a balance that would be the envy of many couples. But all too often couples end up dancing around important issues, avoiding Read More

Maintaining a “Yes” Attitude in Your Relationship

Relationship Help Quick Tip For Couples When was the last time you said “yes” to your spouse/partner? I don’t mean “yes” as in: “Yeah, I’ll take out the garbage” or “Sure, a movie this weekend sounds great.” “Yes” and “no” are more than just words having to do with activities—for many couples these two simple Read More

Are You Over-Analyzing Your Relationship?

Relationship Help Quick Tip Couples today are more aware of the importance of working on their relationship than ever before. The message that healthy relationships are co-created by both partners and that one’s unwavering commitment (while important) isn’t enough to build a fulfilling and meaningful relationship is now recognized by many—couples are purchasing relationship help Read More

Are You Making Good Decisions For Your Relationship?

Relationship Help Quick Tip Couples are continuously (on a daily basis) making decisions that impact their marriage/relationship—whether we’re aware of these decisions or not. How you approach one another, the words you choose to use while sharing your feelings (or whether you choose to share your feelings at all), the kind of feedback you give Read More

Couples Communication: Understanding Gender Differences

Relationship Help Quick Tip “Each person’s life is lived as a series of conversations.” ~Deborah Tannen In her book, You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, Dr. Deborah Tannen describes the different communication styles that exist between the sexes. One of her observations (something marriage/couples counselors frequently observe) is that women share their Read More

Couples Communication: Creating a Level Playing Field

Relationship Help Quick Tip The Uneven Communication Playing Field An uneven communication playing field is created whenever you and/or your partner move from the goal of mutual understanding to the position of “I’m right, you’re wrong.” Once you believe that your feelings (your reality) about a particular issue are somehow superior to or more relevant Read More

Getting Old-Fashioned For A Better Relationship

Relationship Help Quick Tip “We connect the old-fashioned way, by making time to visit with each other in the mornings or evenings.” ~Ted, married six years You might think Ted is from a past generation, from a bygone era where people placed a higher value on carving out face-to-face time to catch up, a time Read More