Gratitude And Appreciate In Marriage

A Wife’s Letter of Gratitude to Her Husband

I realize that I don’t say “thanks” as often as I should. It’s not that I don’t feel enormous gratitude for you and all that you do. I certainly do. You’ve always done a great job at making me feel loved and secure.  And I realize as I reflect on the issue of gratitude this holiday season, that if I suddenly and tragically lost you, one of my biggest regrets would be that I didn’t express the level of appreciation and love I feel for you.

Admitting this lack of expressed gratitude deeply saddens me because it shouldn’t be this way, and it’s easily fixed—or at least it should be.  My fear is that I will tell you all the things I want to tell you at this moment and then fall back into complacency. I’d like to think that once I commit to expressing my love and appreciation for you that this will become the norm. I can even convince myself that I’ll adopt a greater commitment to expressing deeper appreciation to and for you, a commitment that will last the life of our marriage.

But I’m afraid that I won’t be able to truly keep such a promise. This fear isn’t a sign that my gratitude isn’t genuine.

My fear that I will always fall short on sharing how much I appreciate you is based on my humanness:

My tendency is to become comfortable with all that is good around me and take it for granted, even when I try not to; I’m easily caught up in the craziness of our families and the drama they bring to our lives—and whenever I get caught up in this drama I’m more likely to overlook how good you and I are for one another. It’s likely that I’ll momentarily lose perspective on us as I become overwhelmed and consumed by my career and all the challenges that come with it…  In other words, I’m vulnerable to letting life get in the way of expressing my gratitude and love for you.

This isn’t an excuse for what should be, for what ought to be said on a regular basis, and with this said, I just wanted to let you know that today at this moment I am able to voice my gratitude for you—a gratitude that exists even when it isn’t being expressed openly.

With gratitude and love to my husband,


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