Marriage Help: Are You Hiding from Love?

Feeling unworthy of love

There are many reasons why you and your spouse/partner may not be able to reach the level of emotional closeness you desire. One often overlooked hurdle to emotional intimacy occurs when one partner is unable to fully accept love from the other.

In this instance the gift of intimacy is offered by one person but rejected by the other.


Why might this be the case?

We all know the old adage: In order to love someone you have to love yourself first. I would add self-acceptance to the requirement for you and your partner to achieve deep and fulfilling emotional and physical intimacy.

When you feel unworthy of love, you have no choice but to close parts of yourself off to your partner.  Intimacy is a two-way street that suffers when one of you cannot give and receive love.  Your rejection of love (and intimacy) may not be immediately apparent or it can be obvious–either way, your marriage or relationship will not reach its full potential.

Self Reflective Action-Step:

Take you time answering the questions below. Your answers can help you determine if you have trouble fully accepting love or emotional and physical intimacy from your partner.

Do you feel worthy of love?

How do you generally feel when your spouse/partner expresses his/her love to you?

Do you accept compliments and praise from your partner?

What do you need from your partner in order to feel more intimate?


Until Next Time,

Dr. Rich Nicastro

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