Let’s face it, no one is perfect and you’re going to mess up now and then. So is your spouse/partner.
During rough patches, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture of your marriage/relationship. During these moments, you need to be able to step back and take perspective so you don’t sink into the quicksand of negativity.
Relationship Help: Holding a Relationship Vision
One way to maintain (or regain) perspective is to create a relationship vision: Hold a conscious vision of how you want to react and behave in your marriage/relationship. Write down the specific traits and behaviors you’d like to exhibit each day as a husband or wife or partner.
Here are a few questions to help you create your vision:
- How do you want to show love and appreciation each day?
- What kind of communicator would you like to be?
- How will you go about building relationship trust and emotional safety?
After you’ve answered these questions (and others you come up with), make a daily commitment to move toward your vision.
When you take a step backwards (and fail to live up to your relationship vision), consider this an opportunity for learning and self-discovery—each set-back is an opportunity for you to discover what makes you feel vulnerable or emotionally reactive or defensive or withdrawn.
Try not to get discouraged by setbacks. Regroup. The important thing is to continue to slowly move forward toward your vision.
Relationships require us to be emotionally available and supportive in ways that challenge who we are at times. Consider your goal of reaching your relationship vision a work in progress.
Marriage/Relationship Help Resources
I’ve created a comprehensive collection of marriage/relationship workbooks that will give you the core tools needed for a healthy relationship. Find out more about my relationship workbooks.
And if you haven’t, don’t forget to subscribe to my free Relationship Advice Newsletter.
Dr. Rich Nicastro