Adele’s daughter is going through a “messy divorce” after three years of marriage. Married for twenty-seven years to a man she adores, Adele wanted to share her thoughts about why her daughter’s marriage failed.
A message she believes can help us all (I agree).
“My daughter is a wonderful young woman: hard working, lots of friends… But like so many young people today, she’s immature. Her expectations about marriage are just too unrealistic. I overheard her tell one of her friends that she ‘just doesn’t feel passionate’ about her husband anymore. I tried to talk to her about the realities of love and commitment, but she already had her mind made up.”
The Power of Relationship Expectations
Adele is talking about the power of marital/relationship expectations; In particular, how unrealistic expectations and a lack of knowledge about relationships can lead you to make hasty decisions about your relationship.
In Adele’s daughter’s case, the unrealistic expectation is that passion and desire should be a constant in your marriage/relationship and that if passion wanes (which it will), it’s a sign that your relationship is somehow broken or that you ended up with the wrong person.
“Even after twenty-seven years of marriage, on some days I really feel passion for my husband, like I’m a teenager. And on other days, I don’t even want to look at him.” She laughs. “But that’s the way it is…You got to work at it!”
I want to thank Adele for sharing her story with my readers.
Until next time,
Dr. Rich Nicastro