Sometimes I just don’t feel like I deserve Stephen’s love. I think this is starting to cause serious marriage problems… ~Rachael
Emotional Intimacy and Feeling Unworthy of Love
Is emotional intimacy possible when you feel unworthy of love?
There are many reasons why you and your spouse may not be able to reach the level of emotional intimacy you desire. One often overlooked block to intimacy occurs when one partner is unable to fully accept the gift of love from the other.
Why might this be the case?
We all know the old adage: In order to love someone you have to love yourself first. I would add self-acceptance to the requirement for you and your partner to develop a deep and fulfilling emotional connection.
When you feel unworthy of love, you have no choice but to close parts of yourself off in your marriage/relationship. Intimacy is a two-way street that will suffer when one of you cannot give and receive love. Your rejection of love (and intimacy) may not be immediately apparent or it can be obvious–either way, your relationship will not reach its full potential.
When you cannot fully accept love from your spouse/partner, s/he ultimately feels rejected.
Relationship Help Self-Assessment:
- Do you feel worthy of love?
- How do you generally feel when your spouse/partner expresses his/her love to you?
- Do you accept compliments and praise from your partner?
- What do you need from your spouse in order to feel more intimate and connected to him/her?
Take you time answering these questions. Your answers can help you determine if you have trouble fully accepting love or emotional and physical intimacy from your partner.
Dr. Rich Nicastro