Relationship Help Quick Tip
Even Committed Couples Need Space to Have a Bad Day
We all need a free pass to have a bad day once in a while—to be in a lousy mood, to isolate if needed, to shout at the world or say something we typically wouldn’t and not have to apologize (at least not right away), to momentarily sidestep the demands of life…
It’s easier to get a free pass when you’re single (and don’t have young children)—after work you can rush home, pull the sheets over your head, ignore the phone, lower the shades, and leave a path of messes from room to room without reprimand from whomever trips over your trail of physical and emotional debris.
Even married people (or those in a committed relationship) need free passes to have a bad day. It’s a little more complicated, however, when you’re so closely linked to another—that person who cares and expects you to be a certain way, someone who might question your bad mood, recoil from your terseness, and protest when you retreat from the day’s to-do-list.
Couples get free passes too, but they have to ask for them, request some extra space to flounder without question or judgment. Negotiating your free pass comes with the territory of being responsible to each other. A free pass should be part of a loving relationship—at least once in a while.
Until next time,
Dr. Rich Nicastro