Sexless Marriage: Blocks to Sexual Intimacy

Physical intimacy is an important component in marriage and long-term relationships. The reasons why a passionate marriage might dwindle into a sexless marriage vary widely. The first step in keeping passion alive over the long haul is to understand the roadblocks to emotional and physical intimacy.

Passionate Marriage: Blocks to Sexual Intimacy

Keep Passion Alive in Your Relationship


In addition to the natural reduction of sexual desire and frequency that occurs in long-term marriages/relationships, there are other factors that may be contributing to a lackluster sex life.

Here are a few to consider:

  • Hormonal changes associated with pre-menopause and menopause (it is estimated that one in four pre-menopausal women and one in three menopausal women struggle with low sexual desire)
  • Low levels of testosterone (high testosterone levels are associated with heightened sexual desire in both men and women)
  • Stress (the adverse effects of stress are well-documented and can easily dampen your interest in sex)
  • Depression (low sexual desire is a common symptom of depression)
  • Side effects of certain medications (including many anti-depressant medications, high blood pressure medications)
  • Emotional conflicts over sexuality (in future articles I will be examining the power that negative attitudes about sex can have on your relationship)
  • Unresolved anger or resentment toward your partner
  • Poor communication between you and your partner
  • Sexual performance anxieties (common in men but also prevalent in women)
  • Fatigue (caused by stress, a medical condition or insomnia)
  • History of trauma (especially sexual abuse)

If you or your partner struggle with low sexual desire, it’s always a good idea to rule out any possible medical causes as the primary cause of low libido. I’ve heard many stories of individuals and couples spending loads of money in marriage/couples counseling only to discover that a medical condition was the central cause of a lack of physical intimacy.

I’ve created a comprehensive guide to keeping intimacy and passion alive in your marriage/relationship.

For more information check out my Passion, Sex & Intimacy workbook.

Until next time,

Dr. Richard Nicastro

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